I Remember

I remember the way you

Puckered your

Lips around a

Menthol

Cigarette

And how you

Brushed your

Hair in the morning

I remember the way you

Smiled

As you drove me around in

Your

Silver

Convertible

I remember your

Gold chain and

Navy blue briefs

That were worn out and

Your green

Bathroom towel that

You wrapped around

Your waist

As you brushed

Your

Crooked teeth

I remember how

You taught me to

Love music

As we sat in your

Office and

Talked about the

Themes of the

Songs you wrote

On the piano

You played your

Beat up

Acoustic guitar and I

Spotted a bottle of

Tennessee

Whiskey

Hidden behind

A picture frame on

Your desk

I remember the

Late nights

When you would

Ride off and

Return early in the

Morning

I remember the

Way you slurred

Your words

As you threatened

Mom with divorce

I remember how

You counted up to

Ten

When I was

Misbehaving at

Dinner and

That was

How

Many

Times you

Struck me

With your

Worn out

Brown belt

When we got

Home

I remember how

You teased my brother for

Being a fat child and

Told him to

Skip lunch

Almost

Every

Day

I remember the way

Your tense hand

Felt against my

Bottom and the way

Your words

Stung me

At

My

Core

And I have held onto

Your words

For years

But the words I

Hold

Onto

Dearly

Are the ones you

Left

Behind the day

You

Died and

How you said

We were all

Better off

Without you

But

I would rather have

Bruises on my

Arms and legs

Than know that you

Hated yourself and

Didn’t want to

Live

I would rather

Hate you than

Know that you thought

It couldn’t get any

Better

I wish you could read this

Or hear this

Or know this

But you can’t so

I’ll just have to

Remember you

The way you were