I SEE

I was gone

For what seemed short but was actually long
Im done
thats what I say when the fun becomes no fun
Im sick
of the same routine I say I won’t get into
Im down
emotionally and somewhat physically because I’m 
too lazy to move and I set myself in a 
groove that feels so good but only for a while
I smile until I’m down again and I pretend
to amend the broken pieces of the mess that I 
make, I often want to trade my life with someone
who seems to be happy but underneath who knows
if they are happy they have the money and 
they think its funny to splurge and submerge 
themselves in the finer thangs while the rest
of us struggle for the very life we live and we
give and give and give and never ask cause we’re
afraid of the tasks that we will have 
to do and we can’t prove that we work hard
for what we want or work hard for what we
need we get passed over and never seen
unless we have the bling and attract those who
know things and thats the process of
networking, its the key to where we want 
to be but I want to choose the King the 
only one who knows my well being, he sets
me free in a world that wants to keep me
down and doesn’t care where I belong, the 
lust is strong when I hear the words to 
the song that prowls on my soul and wants 
to have control
Im weak
I know this when I feel bliss
and corruption and destruction become
apparent in my eyes, its no surprise when I can’t 
rise from a hard fall, I hit a wall and 
refuse to do what I know I can and I hate it,
so I try, but whatever I do isn’t good enough,
I keep on sinning and I notice that I’m not winning
and its not the beginning but I wish it was
the end and I can’t come down from the 
high, when Im there I swear i forget
what i went through, but i can’t escape
cause a snake comes to tear
me apart again and I’m back to the start and 
its hard to see the finish but i got to 
replenish my thirst with the word
I see
things that could become part of me,
could become against me or could just
be me, I neglect to give myself
away to the one who made me for I
neglect to see the best He has for me,
I have this I want right now attitude
that alludes to the failure that may 
come when Im done living. I must be
willing to let go of what I want and let
his want be my guide, so I continue 
to strive for the life that he has given
I won’t be imprisoned anymore, i must
soar above the rest and in turn i know
he will give rest to the heart that
beats within my chest
This poem is about: 
Me
My family
My community

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