I Should’ve Been Dead Last Week

I should've been dead last week since it has been a couple of months in this pit of with a sign, 14 feet above me, that says "hop in for joy!"

How foolish of me to jump in impulsively. Ashamed in here, the colors start to fade by the day. 

Pondering if I would rather be 8 feet above in a coffin with dark purple velvet cushions comfortably, laying with a boutique for my favorite flavors slowly dying on my chest or wither away and watch the blackish brown color of the muddy dirt fade away.

Questioning if there was another option, I look around me and invision my perfect home, my perfect husband and two happy children. The walls are white with windows showing the bright green grass and blue sky that is not dull anymore.