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I sleep


I sleep...

I sleep alone with nobody to hold.

I sleep alone with the bed so cold.

Wishing to have arms wrapped around my waist.

Wishing to not be in this place.

This place of loneliness and solitude.

Maybe I should change my attitude?

Maybe I should tolerate the intolerable?

Then I'll be lovable?

I sleep.... I sleep with pain in my heart.

My family broken apart...

I see the mistake I made.

If only I would've stayed.

I look down and see little brown eyes glistening back at me.

Through them love is what I see.

Happiness and joy.

Come from the eyes of my baby boys.

They no longer have many toys.

Many shoes Nor the blues...

Materialistic things no longer matter.

To them it's all better.

To sleep.... Sleep content and happy

No more screaming from mommy and daddy.

No more wondering what did mommy do wrong.

Now we play our favorite song.

We can laugh and giggle all night long.

I sleep.... I sleep alone with nobody to hold.

I sleep alone with the bed so cold.

He sees my loneliness.

I wake to his presence.

His warmth and his embrace.

I turn to see His tiny little face.

Long straight lashes.

Bone straight brown hair.

Sleeping so peacefully without a single care.

The slightest move wakes him.

He looks to me with those brown glistening eyes...

"Good morning mommy"

The loneliness is no more

My boys I live for.

For the tight hugs And wet kisses

The cold nights and warm mornings

For the "I love you's" And "I miss you's"

I sleep.... I sleep alone with nobody to hold.

I sleep alone with the bed so cold.

But I know my baby boy will find his way to mamas bed sometime throughout the night.

He will struggle to climb up my bed.

And stumble with no light

But he will be there

And I will hold him tight.

I sleep... Happy without a care. 

-T.quintana

 

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