I Still Need You

It hurt

I've finally realized.

What you did to me hurt. 

The lies and the secrets and the smiles,

They all hurt.

I liked you,

And I think you knew.

And yet

You hid from the fact that you were taken.

You hid behind the good memories,

The good feelings,

The good times.

And yet I still liked you,

A lot,

And you took my fragile, still new heart and

You crushed it

In your hands.

Knowingly?

I'll never know.

But I loved you enough to stay close,

I needed you and the way you made me feel.

Special,

Funny,

Beautiful.

They say that knowledge is power,

But I say ignorance is bliss.

You stole more from me than just time,

You stole my confidence.

And now,

Every time someone looks at me

I cannot think they think

I am special,

Or funny,

Or beautiful;

But that I am just a waste of space.

Another warm body on this unforgiving earth,

Another person in the crowd,

Another star in the sky,

Another foolish girl,

Another nobody.

I am trying to forget,

But it is difficult to erase a scar.

And yet...

I still need you.

And that's what hurts the most.