I Stopped so I Could Start Again

I stopped smiling because I didn’t want my face to look anything but thin.

I stopped laughing because he told me all I was, was annoying while he was in a place where he should never have been.

I stopped looking in the mirror because all I saw was everything I hated.

I stopped sharing my work because I was ashamed of what I had created.

I stopped advocating because the last thing I wanted was to take up space.

I stopped saving money because all I cared about was that gram of cocaine.

I stopped brushing my hair because all it would do is fall out.

I stopped going to school because I was labeled the girl who cried rape.

I stopped reaching out because I needed to appear mentally stable.

I stopped listening to the voices inside my head.

I stopped only being trapped in the confinement of my bed.

I stopped surrendering to the eating disorder that only wanted me dead.

I stopped hiding so I could finally start trying.

I started accepting that I couldn’t do this shit on my own.

I started getting the help that I should have gotten a long time ago.

I started glowing while I let myself finally start glowing.

I started talking instead of trying to forget.

I started to see that I’m not alone, and I’m not the only one who has regrets.

I started to see my body as my own.

I started to gain insight into my values

I stopped so I could start again.