I Suck (Confessions of a Doormat)

I guess you could say that I have a lot of friends

I've never met a stranger and

My friendships have no end and

I say that not to brag but to say they don't depend

On if my friend has been a good friend or on anything they've said

They say it's because I'm a better person than most others

I'll hold open doors for elder people, pregnant mothers

I'd give family anything and I'd die for my brothers

But I suck.

I guess there's no way around it

And if you want the reason I help other people, well you found it

Are you astounded? 

You probably think I'm crazy, but let me tell you something about sinners

Because when it comes to wronging people, I swear, I'm no beginner

Because even though your sin can be inner

You're still a sinner

Some of us are just better at hiding it

Speaking of hiding, that's me every day

I'd hide from my shadow if it got in my way

I'm scared of the dark so I sleep in the light

But I'm still scared of the sounds that I hear in the night

Cuz I don't know if they're real or if they're just inside my brain 

And any attempt to shut it up will go in vain

So I'm scared to be living but I'm scared to be dead

And I'm scared of these thoughts that are inside my head

I want to help people but I'm too scared of myself

I got a friend who needs me now but I can't even help her

Cuz I'm over here with my nose against a wall

While everyone around me is hurting, tripping, falling

And stalling?

That's become almost a hobby

But I see the work of Jesus and all I want is to copy Him

He came down to the world, bled and died to set us free

And not just for the saints but for sucky people like me

I suck, I do 

But Jesus didn't care

So I don't want to care so I'll love people everywhere

They're gonna hurt me, I know, but that's okay

And I know that because I hurt other people every day

But they still love me

Yeah, I suck

There's no way around it

But grace has saved my life and it's the thing that keeps me grounded

And when I say grounded, I mean grounded cuz I'm underneathe your feet

I'm a doormat cuz I know my breath- it isn't mine to keep

So here, take it. I'll give my breath to you

Just know that it's because that's what my Savior would do.