I surround myself with numbersI

I surround myself with numbers

I am a number

1514995

649121

By stereotypes

Druggies and depressed

I am simply a name on a roster

Called out by a person who doesn't understand

The struggles of being sick

Pristine white clothes

Crisp writing

Their melancholy voices ricocheting

Off clipboards that never break

That stay in tact

Never falter

Never crack

Simply...

Perfect

They question my motives

Close me in with white plastered walls

Poke

Prode

And draw blood

From my sick and poisoned body

"Three percent," they said

Yet I still stand strong to this day

I defy numbers

Percents don't make me me

I make me

Me

But you can never tell the reality of a person

Because lies shade them

Lies shade me

I am perceived the way people want to see me

How I see myself

Yet I still try to break stereotypes by being strong

Strong

Yet so weak

The scars of my past hold me down

They loop around my neck

And I am scared

I limit myself

I doubt my self worth

Because of people's inabilities to see it

Because of my inability 

To see myself

As Hannah

So once again I turn into a number

I consume myself in the thought

And become just another digit in this hellish society