I thought

I really did love her, I said I would in the end

This situation reminds me of the time I sat on brothers lap while we listened to Eminem 

We sat in his car for for hours listening to repeats of Kim and talked bout how we were gonna clean out our closets when I got older and runaway with all his friends

He told me he wouldn't fall in love again and that I would always be protected as long as he had his hands

But then again boys always get caught up when it comes to pretending to be a man

I really did care for her, I swore I would in the end

But she used close me in when I would cry for help when I could no longer use a pen and paper to get rid of this pain 

So I decided try to pay her back for all the things she gave me and all the things she thought and how she would have gave me up if the highest bidder would bought me

She finally realized I was worthless and she put me out on purpose

So I realized the furthest thing from being perfect was being in love with with someone who feelings weren't meant to reciprocate and eventually I went on a search for a copy of her that I couldn't hate

I really do miss her, and sometimes I think I dare I

If the woman that I dream of never shows up on the outside

My own brother couldn't help me

And neither could my father 

So when I was younger I prayed to God at night to take my soul so I couldn't fight against the only woman that could  teach me how to reach potential and teach my what a young girl can't do

Here I am saying the way I once felt

But that piece of me went away at the age of six when I realized the only person I could really trust was me

And even now I try to see that own mother was the one who wanted to kill me

I thought I cared for her

I thought I loved her 

I thought she was there for me when I was still a baby in the crib

And my true love was the woman who she could have been and all the things that I thought my dream mother could have did.