I Thought I Knew Us

I knew you

I thought I did

We were ourselves and then together and I trusted us. 

Then you fell and used me to climb back up and I 

Could not hold it

I fell

down 

into my pit of despair

I tried to end it, and you were scared. 

Scared of losing me. 

You supported me. We were in love. 

Then you left when I climbed to the edge of the pit. 

You had offered your hand. 

I let go of everything to take it. 

Then it was 

Gone. 

Now you are asking for my love. 

Something you had.

I can't give you what you have. Yet,

I find myself with everything to give. 

But I want to keep it. I want to 

Cry tears of joy

I want to cry because of how darn happy I am. 

I want to be happy.

I WANT TO BE HAPPY...

but do I deserve it? I...I feel so lost when I am with you

You want to try again?

I can't know and I can't be yours. 

We were going to get married and finish college, medical school,

we had it all planned out. 

But you can't plan for the storm when the forecast was sunny. 

I thought I knew us. 

I really did. 

But I don't know anything. 

NOTHING at all. 

And I never will. 

Goodbye. Thank you for teaching me about myself. Thank you

for letting me know all of my flaws that you said were perfect. 

I will be your friend. I will be kind.

I will be damaged. 

Love,

An object that was of your affection