I Try


People tell me that I am loved,
But that doesn't help in the moment.
Life is hard when it hurts to breath
To touch
   To walk
      To laugh
So I sleep.
                    At least I try.
As the pain hugs my bones where my muscles should be,
And a hole drains the energy where my heart should beat.
My tears are oceans I've yet to see.
And I wonder if I'll ever breathe.
A breath,
That doesn't taste like 
                Or rust
                  Or blood
                     Or sea water
Air sits in my lungs like poison.
Blood pools in my veins like lead.
Blankets shield me from the chill.
Nothing shields me from my head.
I sleep
I cry
I go through motions.
                    At least I try.


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