I Used To

I used to think that what defined me was my brain

I had to outsmart those around me, even if it meant making enemies

I used to think that what defined me was how he touched me

I felt dirty and so wrong, but it was all my fault, so he said

I used to think that what defined me was my hair

Killing it with chemicals just so no one would ask me questions about my curls

I used to think that what defined me was my body

It's the only thing anyone noticed about me so I hid it

I used to think what defined me was my personality

When she was surprised I spoke and thought I was mute

I used to think so much I dimmed my own light and almost blew out my own flame for good

I used to think, but now I know

I know what I am, I know what defines me

I am what defines me

I hold the lighter that rekindles my flame

I gave the light a new strength to burn brighter than ever before

That light defines me, I am that light

I am my eyes when I sing in front of hundreds of people

I am my smile when I talk to my mother

I am my rapid heartbeat when I see him

I am my anger at the ignorance that plagues this world

I am my insecurities, I am my faults

I am me

And I refuse to be anyone else