I vow

I vow to go back and retrieve everything I lack right now because I decided to let go of all the things that made me me I let society tame me change me and recreate me and I wish I never did because I was happier as a kid but then I let words of the people decide my fate I learned how to hate every part of myself I wanted to scrape my skin off I wanted to kill my hair with chemicals and I only wore labels but where was I? my entire being was a lie and somehow I was okay because "they" gave me the okay but I'm headed back now and some changes might take a while but I vow oh I vow to find myself again and apologize for all the hurt that I caused and for getting so lost in this place where all we look for is an applause