I wanna be ugly

I wanna be so ugly that the only way a man were to love me is by gazing into my droopy eyes and seeing the hideously good nature in my soul. I want to bare my scars like soldiers who came from internal battles of depression and flaunt them like medals. I want you to see my flaws.

Does it bug you so greatly that maybe, JUST MAYBE, I have more medals than you. When i show them I fear that people will know that I was in battle and see the scars as my remains, seeing as the man who walked in to fight was no longer the same.  

I wanna know you're double tapping my stars on

instagram and not just my skills with an editing app. I wanna be so ugly that my likes and taps only come from those who see my strength and... and...

DONT MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL BECAUSE I CLEAN UP WELL. This picture is of me and here's how

you can tell i haven't smiled in a while the light doesnt touch my face right because i took this picture at 3:30 what you would call early morning i call not having slept all night. This picture caught me better than anyone else could. The lighting is terrible

There's no black and white edit but the blue is clear. You can't do much to help perfection

Ugly can be tweaked. One day my camera will paint me beautiful, radiant. until then i wanna be ugly. I want to be undeveloped.... I wanna be free.