I want

So often I accuse myself of being a selfish person but I think that it is false accusation because it's something I want to be, and there's a difference between what you have and what you want. I want to tell you to stop hurting me. I want to listen to sad music and not cry because I understand the lyrics a bit too much. I want to look at old pictures and not feel nostalgic. I want people to accept me for who I am instead always forcing myself to accept people for who they are, when they don't deserve it. I want to stop writing sad poems but I remember the sad moments far better. I don't want the world to stop suffering but I want to stop seeing it. I want to stop asking questions I know will hurt me in the end. I want you to know that I love you. I want stop feeling a million emotions in a day. I want the war inside my head to die. I want you to understand me and then explain it to me, so that I can understand too. I want you to stop thinking things you can't tell me. I want you to read my poetry and know, sometimes I'm happy when I write a sad poem. I want to say I love you and know for sure, that this is forever. I want to stop bleeding, from all the pieces of our hearts that I tried to pick up. But most of all, I want to be selfish, so none of it will matter anyway. And then when I cry, I know it will be for me and not you.