Before I "was"

You believed in me

But I guess that’s over.

You loved me,

But that’s no more.

You trusted me,

But I lied.

You thought “till death do us part”

Were our words.

Until the day I died.

You had no idea that day would come so soon.

Nineteen years

Isn’t a very long life.

You saw me as I truly was.

Or at least, you thought you did.

But really,

I told you I was fine.

I fed you those lies

Just to keep you from worrying.

To make you feel better.

I guess I couldn’t handle

The weight of guilt

That appeared on my shoulders

With each new cut.

And when I died that night

In icy November,

With nothing but love for you

And hatred for myself,

My last words,

Whispered,

Were simple yet complex.

I love you.