I was

I wanted to be alone,

away from the society that was forcing me to be someone else,

away from the people that were trampling me with their words,

away from the words that cut and bruised me like they were a weapon.

They were. 

And then it got worse.

First, it was my gram who went.

Oh how jealous was I that she got to be in a better place than I was.

Second, it was my Pops.

How in shock I was that he just withered away. 

Third, it was my Yaya.

How angry I was that he left, he was still stuck here, but it was like he could have been dead. 

Last, it was me.

I didn't want to be alone anymore.

It was terrifying to be alone.

What if I went away like the others did?

I was tired of being afraid and cut and bruised by things that meant nothing.

I was tired of locking myself away in a prison cell I called "My room".

I was tired of not being happy. 

I was no longer Emily.

I was no longer a full name. 

I was no longer myself. 

I was Em.

I was okay.

I was happy.

It was a new adventure, one where I had to act grown up.