Since I was young

From a young age 

To the beach I was told to cover each inch of my skin from the sun with clothing and a hat

I was told I would become worthless if my innocence was taken from me 

And as I grew I lived by every word you threw at me 

I cried as I kept my opinions to myself 

Now you're gone 

The last time we spoke I cried cause you didn't even have the intention talking to me

How was I supposed to feel even at the age of 19

I still think of you just not in the same way as before 

I believe the actions I do are because of you but not in a good way

You said you loved my long hair so I chopped it off

I do as I please not caring what others think or say

I love with all my heart even though I don't know what love means at my age 

From a young age I was told how to think

I thought you did everything cause you loved me 

Now I realize most fathers did not have that type of relationship with their daughters

You were supposed to defend me when others spoke badly of me not stay silent

You were supposed to have spoken to me not yelled

You were supposed to tell me I meant something no matter what 

I don't blame you due to the life you had

But you should have wanted your children to feel confident and loved

I  will thank you for helping me realize it as an adult rather than a child

No matter what you are my father and I love you