I will

I will have a deeper appreciation for myself- as I've been delt. I've always thought...well, lesbian sex sounds hot! Then....riding in like a knight in rainbow armor...you took my breath away! This was the beginning, with a very quick ending. Took a few years to figure out, but the party isn't over! Yes...I'm sober! But...I fell in deep. I'm writing to you as another failed marriage is in the works for me. That'd be three! Maybe it didn't work because I'm cursed. Or maybe the little old ladies would see it that way...in dismay-of course! But about that force...you brought....or bring...as it dances all around you! I was sad too! And I'm so so sorry...and lame! Guess I'm to blame! I'm sorry it took me so long to realize....and it was never ever a game....just shame, that's been ingrained-in me. Probably since 3, when I was swayed to be what everyone wanted me to be. In spite of my light that burned bright every time there was an attraction. I feel like I grew up in a faction...of grey...and always wanted to escape....to technicolor. Like Tris from Devergent, I spent so much effort! Trying to fit in and just be what everyone wanted...I've always felt haunted, by a feeling of...well YOU! I've never had something I wanted so much and could never have. I'm glad...that I'm coming to my senses. We can still be so great...it's not too late. I promise I will introduce you to the world as my girl-or girlfriend- or whatever! I feel life will certainly be better with you in it- BUT OH SHIT!!!! I don't know anything! I need help with everything!!!! But I will tell you this......I keep my nails clipped!   ;)