I Will Succeed

When my parents divorced each other,

At the age of 5,

I told myself, I will be different,

I will succeed.

When cystic acne ravaged my face and body,

At the age of 13,

I told myself, I will obtain flawless skin,

I will succeed.

Through starvation and tears that never came during the day,

Through a heart of gold hardened to diamond,

Through endless nights spent crying alone,

Through poverty and unmet expectations,

I will succeed.

Through cracked mirrors and broken razor blades,

I always told myself,

I will succeed.

Counting the scars on my arms and legs,

I heard voices telling me to end it all, but I told them,

I will succeed.

When being gay became a source of agony and suffering,

At the age of 14,

I told myself, I will go to college, I will find love, I will be beautiful,

I will succeed.

Through the taunts of my peers and the religious bigotry of my parents,

I drowned in self-deprecation and sorrow,

But I kept telling myself,

I will succeed.

While my friends spent their nights reveling in drugs and alcohol,

I spent my nights studying and doing homework while telling myself,

I will succeed.

After personally witnessing people destroy their lives through crystal meth, heroin,

marijuana, alcohol, coke, lsd, shrooms, molly, and air duster,

I told myself, I will be different, I will have a future,

I will succeed.

With flawless skin, direct admission into Indiana University,

A 3.27 GPA, and an early graduation from high school,

I did succeed.