I Wish...

I wish for a better place,

while I lie on the floor and contemplate my existence.

I cry for a better world, 

as I watch my internal scabs be picked at, 

and be forced to bleed.

I scream in my head, 

for the injustice of our ways.

I thrash my limbs,

As my life slowly rots away.

I may be young, have lots of time left,

yet it seems my time is short.

I want to find a better place, but-

I'm unwilling to find it.

So I sit in the darkness,

wreathed in sorrow as I plunge into nothingness.

I wish I couldn't feel.

I wish I couldn't hear.

I wish I didn't think so much about the things that they say about me.

I try to stay positive, 

I try to stay clean,

To be the perfect daughter,

student, child, light,

cheerful, loving, selfless........

The list goes on while I die inside and scream and cry.

What's it all for?!

Explain to me why it has to hurt so much!

I'm just a child, yet I feel so old and broken inside.

My religion tells me that there is light at the end of the tunnel,

but what if I can't see it?!

These trials and tribulations are too much for me to bear.

I am sick and tired, of being sick and tired.