I Wonder

I wonder why I am the way I am

But then I don't eat, don't sleep, don't talk to people, don't say how I feel

I wonder why it's an addiction

But then I turn to it anytime something goes wrong

I wonder why I can't keep people

But then I overstep boundaries, annoy them when they're busy, and unload my problems on them

I wonder why I don't tell the people I say I trust

But then I remember the tears and the threats and the promises they said they wouldn't break