I Write to Survive

I write to hold onto the dreams that my foolish mind once believed

Could bring me to the light away from the world of the shunned 

That fills me with sorrow yet sucks the breath from my body

The light from my eyes, my soul from my being to bring others

The joy that I cry for.

I write to release the years of hate building within my chest

That makes me feel like there are bricks upon bricks on my heart

To help me know that your abandonment will not bring me to me knees

To help me remember that I can move past your violation

And one day give a little smile just for my hearts content 

Instead of the worlds greedy nature to make me conform

I write to get away from the pain 

from his drunken leers

from her screams 

from their tauntings

from my own self hate

I write to release the pain that builds in my chest 

That even now consticts my throat

As the tears flow

And the sobs bubble up in my throat

I write to forget how they make me feel worthless and lost

That I can't even look myself in the mirror without feeling ashamed

I write because I can't even lie and say I'm beautiful

I write because I can't look myself in the eye and say that I love myself

I write because I have no one to talk to

I write because I'm scared I'll hurt myself

I write because I feel lost and alone

I write for release

I write to survive the world and my own demons that fight to destroy me

I need to write to survive or I know that I won't make it out alive