Ideation

I open my eyes each day

And wash the mud away

From the cracks in my head

That wish me dead

I smile at my reflection, 

I know it's a lie

For a moment I feel hope,

like a car passing by

Then it's gone,

But I still must carry on

I walk into work,

Like I do everyday

I try to stay reliable,

whilst slipping away

But they'll never see

The darkness that haunts me

I'm good for a joke,

and a favor in between

I'm one part flame,

and the other gasoline

I just wanna burst

But they'll never see my worth

I pull into the drive,

like I do every night

Greeted with "hello,"

and "How is life?"

My ocean is pulling me down

There's no chance of me being found

And I lay awake,

When I should be sleeping 

But there's no one else,

Here to do the reaping 

I've got to contain the infection inside

So much of me has already died

How can I breathe?

When my world has gotten smaller

How can I die?

When my responsibilities grow taller?

Is there really an obligation?

Or is this beast my own creation?

Yet here I am,

Typing away

Praying for an answer

Hoping some one will say

Take my hand...

Take my hand...

But tomorrow I will wake

And maybe try again

Take this mistake,

And do what with it I can

Until I can't anymore

Until the void can't be ignored