IDK Where To Go From Here

I grasp for words

As if they could save my life

The silent scuffle seemingly unheard

But apparently in plain sight

I thought I could cover up the tracks

But in my eyes, my face

My actions, how I act

There is a trace

But telling never did anything

Words only make it worse

The tears, the rage, the hatred, the emptiness are my feelings

This is not your curse

I hate how you see through the mask

I hate how you care

I hate how you continue to ask

I hate how you stare

But you see the truth

That lies between my lies

You don’t even need proof

Because truly things are rarely ever fine

I don’t want to talk about it

I want to battle in silence

Because otherwise every other day would be shit

And I want to save you from the violence

I want to pretend it is all okay

To keep my peace of mind

So please won’t you stay

And pretend everything is fine

To tell the truth

I don’t know what to do

It’s been so long since my youth

When everything was easy and new

I don’t know how to stop pretending

I don’t know where to start

But please don’t let this be our ending

I need you and love you with all my heart

You know me better than anyone

Even better than myself

No one else can see what truly lies inside me

The complex and deadly webbing of my soul

I need you here

I need you now

More than ever before

To stay alive, to stop this war