Idle Thoughts Of A Lost Soul

Truth be told, I only saw what is real

Because my heart is an open sore that I do not expect to heal.

You see, a beaten and battered heart knows how pain feels

So it lacks all remorse when it comes time to kill.

Imagine 5-point stars tattooed upon my wrist

So that when I slit it down the middle, I will bleed out the six

And bleed out the omens that have haunted me in the past.

Then maybe, just maybe, I'll find peace at last.

I was born with a mind as strong as Malcolm X

Intertwined with the attitude of a blood set.

So, every time I touch this pen,

Consider it an instant blood fest.

That means death to everything in sight as I ask you, what's next?

I am vexed with the thought of letting Hip-Hop die

So these simple-rhyme rappers bring tears to my eyes

As I gaze into the mirror blind to my true self.

I am forever conflicted and lost on this search for true self

When the only thing that I want out of life is discovering true wealth

As I cleanse my soul and search for new health.

I see the pain in my mother's eyes as she witnesses the confliction

Of my mind at war with itself, when I just want to end it.

I am finished. I am done. There is no point in me even trying

For I could care less about death, and yet, I am miles from dying.

Pride cannot begin to explain why the heart of a lion

Beats blood throughout my veins as I sit back and sigh

Because trouble is stalking me like a horror movie.

I will love myself, and those that object can sue me.

My battles are repetitious increments of broken poetry.

So, I write about my life for all of these young boys to see.

In this world full of darkness, this pad is my flashlight

As I captivate minds like a car-crash sight.

All eyes on me as I step to the plate

And knock it out of the park. I hope that a window does not break.

For goodness sake, no one knows my rage

Of a thousand pit bulls confined within a single cage.

I have a fast-lane mentality, which is 120 on the gauge,

But silence fell upon all as I entered onto the stage.

I am the predator on the chase,

Forever exposing my own to keep your soul in place.