If

If I had a dollar for everytime I messed up

I’d be the wealthiest man, materialistically speaking

I’d have flasher cars, a big house, plenty of materials

But, nobody to share it with

See, I share it with you, and if I can’t share it with you, then I don’t want it

It’s things a man does alone, and things a man needs to have his other half to help him with

That’s you

My heart really aches around these times, and it hurts me to do this to you

My stomach turns inside out

My mind goes away, and I can’t think straight

I just wish I knew the cause of my peer stupidity, and could choke it to death

I sometimes wish I could die, and rebirth as someone who can do the right in you

Recently has not been good for us

It hurts me even more to know that there is something deep down, but it just won’t come out

I wanna talk to you, as much as you wanna talk to me

And you wanna talk to me, as much as I wanna talk to you

It’s a shame the things I do, or say

I try, and try

Harder and harder

But I just can’t decide on which to barter

Should I give up the laughs and giggles and trade it for the words and the sentimental things?

I can’t decide

I’ve tried and tried

But it never seems to work out

I woke up last night, and I cried at 2:19am

Because I felt bad about what I’ve done to you

We’re not always perfect

And at this moment, we’re not

But, I guess I’ll have to do what I’ve always done and try

To make it better

To talk more

To release my feelings on paper, and not through rage

And give the good to you, and leave the bad in rain

I can’t claim perfect if I’ve never been there

One day or another, I will mess up

I know it before it even happens

I know when I do

Your face changes

Your lips come in together

Your eyes roll

You can’t look at me straight

And when I see those things, it tears me into two

And not the two of me and you, but the two of pain and happiness