If I Had Cancer...
If I Had Cancer where would it be inside of me?
Would it start in the brain and make it's way to my spine?
Would it be in my colon?
If I Had Cancer would it kill me?
Or would I beat it and have it in my family history?
Would my chemical makeup give it to my son?
The way I describe it, it sounds like a dream, it isn't, it's a nightmare.
This isn't something I ever thought about.

About three years ago, I began thinking about the end of the world.
The imagery of a Texas sized asteroid striking Earth and decimating all mankind in a fiery, painful death kept me from sleeping.
I hated to lay in my bed, I knew that my nightmares would continue.
I grew up and that terror has faded.

I have a new fear.
Now that I am a young adult, I have had at least one experience that has brought me closer to thinking about Cancer.
Someone close to me has died of Cancer.
She has years of knowledge that I have not yet experienced and love to dream of acquiring.
This woman has brought me to a place in my respect for acting that I never imagined I would reach.
I fear this person has left this Earth having not taught everyone what she knew. I dreamt of seeing her recover.
I feared for her optimism.
I feared for her health.
I feared for her future.

And now she is gone.
And the fear has faded to sadness.
And from sadness, happiness.
Happiness for her soul and for her eternal peace.

Now that I have experienced a death, I feel like there are other things to worry about in life.
More important things, but death is final, it is inescapable.
And so I will carry on having respect for fear and death, knowing that both are important and good.