If I Were On a Desert Island

Wed, 03/02/2016 - 18:35 -- October

If I were on a desert island

I would probably already have everything I needed because technically

“Desert” and

“Desserted” are two separate thing entirely

and if the island was covered in sand

but it still had people on it

chances are I have ended up on someone’s personal island,

and they would be more than happy to bring me back to shore

unless of course he’s playing “The Most Dangerous Game”

In which case I would probably win because I can jump pretty high

And have a pretty good sense of direction.

 

So let’s instead pretend I that am on a deserted island.

 

If I were on a deserted island,

with nothing but what provisions god allotted me

and whatever supplies I could come up with on my own

and one item i had been granted before my marooned life began

 

It would probably be my computer.

Because I am a gigantic nerd.

Which is actually pretty stupid, because I don't know if there's internet on this island, so I might be trapped playing spider solitaire for the rest of my life.

Come to think of it, if it’s a deserted island, there's probably not a plug either...

Yeah.

 

I should have asked for something smart, like a frying pan.

Or a motorboat that could take me back to civilization.

Or a super-sonic-solar-powered yellephone that I could call for help with.

Or an enviornmentally-freindly, politically correct, Robo-Mecca-Monster to turn my new island into a paradise and wait on my hand and foot.

Or even a device that could solve all of the world's problems in the blink of an eye so that we could all live in a world without pain or tears or suffering.

 

But no.

 

I had to ask for a computer.

A dumb, disabled computer that won't even turn on.

 

Dammit.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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