If Im Not What You Seek

If I'm not who you seek If I'm not who you truly seek Then keep your ass away from me. If you think I'm some sort of standby til you make up your mind where you want to be then leave me be. See, I was never made to be second,third nor fourth for any man! I deserve more, not less! My heart maybe open because I choose to love again! Never think for once that Im blind to your bullshit! See, I once was a fool to have my heart open and my eyes sealed shut! Blinded to everything that he ever did me! Thinking that my man would never cheat on me... He could never betray me.... He wouldn't lie to me... He could never hurt me.... Ha ha......yeah, he did that and more.to the point where I was so naive I wouldn't believe what people were telling me! I was so caught up til he carried me In the palm of his hand! As if he was the master and I was his slave! See, I wanted his love.... Til the point I wanted to fill that void of not having my father's love ...it was almost like a drug. I had to have it or I would die without it! My flesh became weak! My Mind confused... Stuck in the darkness not able to break through! Needing someone elses love to feel whole..... While all he did was suck life out of my soul! Yeah, I knew what he had done to me.. I just couldn't bring myself to believe all the hurt he had caused me.... Too ashamed to acknowledge what everyone else tried to tell me! I became tired from being so weak.. Til I cried out to a higher power! Within my darkness and in the midst of my tears I was able to see light again! That was the breakthrough to my freedom. To love me again....loving me within myself! Feeling whole again. I'm a fool no more because I'm now molded into the woman I'm suppose to be. All that ever happen to me I'm grateful that it happen the way it did because if it hadn't I wouldn't be as strong as I am today! Ladies and gents never think someone can love you better you can. Especially if you don't love yourself first! Never settle for less... The person who is meant for your life should be the icing to the cake.. Until you layer yourself first no one will able to seal that cake with icing! ASHLEY POETIC A'RENEE MCKINNEY ❤❤❤❤