If it isn't love

She said it wasn’t love it was infatuation she learned from pain and let it pass like graduation.

She was confused on what made her different and what made her equal. Was it because she was black with green tats or was it because on Saturday nights she researched facts of how love should work, should she fake it.

His words like tumors, malignant so she didn’t make it. Her heart tried to recover but it was a close call. Steady along the blurred line of about to fall. New problems arise but she’s been through it all.

It’s a new day the  sun shine is too bright for her eyes cuz all she’s seen is demise and the loss of loved ones lives she sees only black out of her dark brown eyes. Sick of the lies but too tired to cry.
She said it wasn’t love it was infatuation.
How do you recover from a hurtful situation, beyond dedication.

Gave love without fault. Pure intentions, pure heart.

She didn’t know if she could take it.

Cuz her momma told her, her heart wasn’t meant for breaking.

But after each black eye and white lie there was a congratulations.

Wedding day there was a celebration.

First miscarriage just another destination. We can try again.

She couldn’t believe this was her life. A constant brawl, a never ending fight.

But she knew freedom was a right. But he acted like it was a privilege.

And daddy said it took a village but where was everybody when she needed them.

And where was God when he beat on her.

And where was daddy when he’d cheat on her.

And where was momma when she moved to Texas and she was in her third trimester, new guy came along to test her then turned around and blessed her.

Now she livin, forgetting about the beating ,the cheating and the constant deceiving
She said this is love not infatuation
Now she got a beautiful baby keeping her up at night and driving her crazy.

Her husband treats her like a queen he loves her to no end.

He accepts her past enough not to bring it up.

Rubs her scars as if he can heal them.

Holds her like she’s gonna disappear.

But out of love not out of fear because this is love not infatuation.