If My Skates Could Talk

If my skates could talk, what would they say? They might say they’re cold From all the snow that collects on them. They might criticize me For the fact that I can’t stay on my feet. Or they might compliment me On blowing past the bender still back there coughing. I imagine that my skates Talk to my socks. Well, would try to talk but there’s so much snow still caught on them from falling. And because my socks and my shin guards are so close, I imagine them gabbing on and on about how they are constantly chopped at, like a lumberjack trying to down a tree, or how they’re always getting hit with pucks. My pants would then jump Into that conversation, complaining that they’re always getting Frozen sitting on the ice. My shoulder pads would definitely agree. Their best friend, my elbow pads, would scold me on using them to check Dusters, instead of using my shoulders. My jersey would chime in, just being proud to wear the Pioneer brand. Then my gloves would contrast that They always smell bad. Everyone agrees, Except my neck guard who’s still in the locker room, lonely. And all alone on the top of my head, my helmet would whisper to my ears. I’m with ya buddy! Let’s do this shit. All of this would happen if my skates could talk.