If Only

If only you knew

That when I see your face

I let go of my breath

Because everything will be okay

If only you knew

How I replay our conversations

Your laughs and my smiles

My least favorite class,

has just become my reason to go to school

but “No reason” I reply to my friend's prying questions

But you're the reason why

Yes you are

and you'll never know

I sit there

The teacher talks to himself

I have nothing else to do,

but sneak glances at you

I am afraid to be caught

But you never seem to notice

And I hear your conversations

Are they about me?

Can they be about me?

Will they ever be about me?

If only you weren’t stupid 

If only you knew there was a girl 

Right by you

Who wants you

If only you knew

I hope I cough

Just so you can look at me

If only

If only I could tell you

If only there wasn’t another girl

If only you knew

But you don't

I replay our conversations

Knowing we won’t have many more

Your laughs and my smiles, all limited and forgotten by you

If only you knew

And it hurts

But I can't let it, can I?

After all,

It's my fault