If You Had Known

If only you'd known

how I looked at you

When you turned your

Head from me

If I could recount

All the times I mouthed

The words I wished to say

When I knew you weren't looking

If you could comprehend

The feeling I never displayed

When you held me And

Told me everything's okay

If only you'd known

How many times

I pushed the urge

To kiss you  away

If you could count

All the times I wished

I'd simply took

Your hand in mine

If you could imagine

All the reasons

I'd shoved in my head

To detour myself  

If only you knew

How often I dreamed of you

How many times

I relayed my dumb responses

I'd only you'd seen

How many dire, dramatic

situations I fantasized could happen

simply to tell you how I felt

If you could read

All the things you said

To me that I memorized

In my chaotic head

If only you could see

The ways I might have been

If I wasn't so locked up

From within

You would have

Known much sooner

How much

I have and will always love you