As If You Knew

Thu, 11/16/2017 - 13:55 -- mya_s7

 
no one invites me anywhere
no one wants to hang out with me
no one likes me as more than a friend
I have tons of problems too
I hate myself
 I feel so ugly I feel so fat
I starve myself
I make myself throw up
my parents use "physical" discipline
my mom tried to strangle me 
guys have tried to take advantage of me
a guy raped me 
I hate living in my house
I hate living but not enough to die
if I did my parents would celebrate
they'd be thrilled
no one truly loves me
no one actually enjoys my companyno one wants to get me out of my house
everyone believes my parents
not me
never me
my parents are the victim they say
I back talk too much
I'm the damn criminal here
I want to cease to exist 
no one would even miss me
no one would even care 
no one would remember me forevermy parents hate me they want me gonethey are sick of me
they wish they'd never adopted me
I need out of here
but no one hears me
I go through all the damn motions
no one suspects a thing
no one thinks I need someone to talk tO

to comfort me
to let me cry on their shoulder
to allow me to let it out
to stop bottling it up till I get to bed
and write my pain out
but it's still there
always there
forever there
haunting me
taunting me
torturing me
I'm so sick of it all
but I plaster that smile on my face
and fake it through my life
and pretend to be happy
when I'm sobbing inside  because
no one suspects a thing
no one listens
no one pays attention to me
no one likes me 
no one truly loves me
no one actually cares
no one really knows 

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
My community

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