If You Saw Me

If you saw me walking one more time through thickest trees

You would know how much my adventure, though it’s fantasy, meant to me;

And if you heard me singing in the darkest corner of the house,

You would know I was pouring out a soul scared to be seen.

If I can’t talk or talk too terribly,

You would give me the words whispered to a wandering mind;

If my eyes droop fighting bitter sleep

You would hold me until I welcomed its sweet release.

Oh if I trembled you would steady me, if I stumbled

You would pick me up again, if I suffered in stubborn silence

You would sit beside me silently, you would wait

for me patiently, you would kneel in my need and remind me who I am.

If you saw me shout aloud with a beam splitting my cheeks

You would know how much I love the taste of every victory;

And if you saw me gazing at the stars

You would know how I long to find the source of their light;

And if you saw me sitting on a ledge

You would know I was watching the world pass by below my dangling feet.

If I walked from you and slammed the door –

If I disappeared without a word – if I ran when I found you lying on the floor –

You would know that I loved you far too much to utter goodbye

Because goodbye means I don’t need you anymore