If You Were Still Here

Dear Mommy, 

I wish that you hadn't left.

I know you had no choice.

But I wish you were still here. 

Even though I wasn't old enough to remember you,

I still have as much hurt as anyone that was. 

I doubt that I would have to deal with the remnants,

Of a brutal split if you were still here.

I doubt I'd be as mentally unhealthy,

As I am now if you were still here.

You'd encourage me to follow my ambitions,

Just as you followed yours if you were still here.

Would I still be called Dani, 

Despite my real name being Danielle?

I'll never know.

But I would, if you were still here.

Would I still have such an interest in all things Broadway and theatre?

Would I still have the best friend that I do?

Would I still have the courage to come out as pansexual?

Or would I have even more?

Would I still have pets that I love and adore?

I just wish I knew.

I wish I could hold your hand,

Feel your warm embrace,

Hear that it will all be okay.

Just from you.

And I would,

If you were still here.

Love,

Your baby Dani