If you're not proud of him, leave

Dear 17-year-old Me, 

I know you've been single

all your life, 

so you don't know what to 

do when an older guy 

shakes your hand

and charms you

to become friends on Facebook. 

Well, listen carefully

because I have learned

that he didn't want to buy you boba

when he asked you out

He only wanted your company

because he couldn't stand his 

loneliness

And he didn't want to listen to you

when you said you already ate

and he invited you to dinner

and drove you to eat with him anyway

He only wanted your company 

because he couldn't stand his

loneliness

He didn't want to get to know you

and all your beautiful intelligence

He only wanted to know if you'd

fall for a guy like him

but I'm glad you were smart enough

to laugh in his face when he asked that

Don't give in

when he wants to hug you goodbye

Don't give in

when he wants to drive you home after 1 AM

Don't give in 

when he says he wants to sleep in his car

and it's just the two of you

sitting in awkward silence

Don't touch him back

when he unexpectedly touches you

Don't walk next to him

when you get back to campus

Don't talk to him

when he "forgets" to text you

but decides to approach you when 

it's convenient for him 

He won't value you for your incredible strength

He won't love you the way you want

He won't respect you

He won't text you when you want him to

Don't you dare hold out hope that he'll change

Stop thinking that his personality must become better

just to compensate for the fact that you like his appearance

Just because he's older doesn't mean he knows how to be a gentleman

Just because you share the same ethnicity doesn't mean he relates to your cultural experiences

Just because he has been single all his life, too, doesn't mean he understands your desire to date

Most importantly, if you don't want to tell your family about him, 

that's a red flag

If he's a keeper, you should be proud to say you're involved with him

You should be able to say that he's got his life together

that he cares for you

that he listens to you and remembers what you've told him and asks you questions about yourself and knows how to have meaningful conversations

that he enhances your life, 

makes you want to be a better person

makes you want to work on your bad habits and personal issues

You should be able to say

he's smart

he's funny

he's witty 

he's hardworking

he's organized

he's skilled

he's friendly

he's helpful

You should feel like he's right for you in the most extraordinary way 

You might feel skeptical that he's the ideal guy for you

because you've gone through so many guys

that you felt as if you'd never trust again

But this guy will help you learn to trust once more

He won't pry into your private life

if you don't want him to 

He will only say he'll be there if you need him

and when you do need him, he'll keep his word

He'll go out of his way to make you feel safe

He'll calm you down when you're hypervigilant

of those guys coming back for you

He should make you feel happy 

and time flies when you're with him

With the right one, you'll realize that you don't need to get drinks or food 

to spend time together

You don't need to waste money on expensive restaurants

because both of you will be pennywise and bring food from your homes

So honey, know the difference 

between that boy and your future man

If you're not proud of a boy, leave

You'll eventually meet the man for you