Ignoring the Signs

Sometimes you look down and don't remember

How you got here. Who made you who you are.

I know that feeling. To stop and notice

The curves you waited for twist your insides

The chest that labeled you one of the girls

That word brought only a faint discomfort.

It's not easy being a girl, I know.

I thought that was why it did not fit me,

But girls like being girls, and I did not.

I thought I was bad at it for a while

The hair, the makeup, it eluded me

I called myself a futch. Boy did not fit,

But I realized that girl did not either.

I could not think of what it would be like

I wanted to show to myself, to know

What I never considered possible.

I had a flat chest once, but it'd been years.

I had almost forgotten the feeling.

Fingers ran from collarbone to navel

With only a small bump- and I liked it.

The tightness was comfier than a hug

Where loose garments make it harder to breathe.

I would see my reflection and smile

After years of avoiding my own eyes.

The title "girl" felt wrong and unfitting,

Especially when I found one better:

Enby. The word that makes my heart flutter.

Sometimes I look down and remember

How wrong and unhappy I used to feel

But I am so much better now and I know

She got them here once she noticed their signs.