I?I never know where

I?
I never know where to begin...
Or what sinks between my brain and the persona within
I am lost in seas of thought...most of the time

I am a Hopeless Romantic afraid of love
Yet I dream of someone to adore and to be above...my height
To tell me that I am right
While playing games of courting
And hold me close through the darkness at night

What have I become...
This void of endless figments
While my excitement is only in lucid dreams
And every hour of every day I slowly loose my pigment

I yell into the sky,
"Why do you put me in this place and why do I leak into my pillow every time I try to sleep?"
But still the earth will not move to the sound of my voice
And no one hears me

Because I..
I?
...Well I am the lightning with no thunder...
Now all my thoughts begin to sunder