I'll follow her

She snacks on chips in the living room

We sit in silence, watching time pass and waiting for the oven.

This is the first time I've seen her this year.

I note our similarities.

I remember being seven and wanting to be her. 

The cool older cousin with the braids.

The pacifist and the storyteller. 

She was one of us, but somehow so much more mature. 

Today I still see those qualities in her.

Today I still try to be her. 

Back then I needed her to show me what to do.

Today, I still feel that need.

My life is about to change so much.

Her life already has.

I've always had to be the one to do it first, to jump in and hope I figure it out.

My siblings won't have to deal with the same. 

This time I won't have to either.