Illegal occupation

My world revolves around him

And his revolves around my obsession

My obsession with him

My obsession with what he supplies me

I sit spiritless

Stranded on the rotten wonderland floating in his eyes

An island built by the poison he eagerly gives me

He lives in lavish

Living off the despair and dejection

Growing like weeds on the wasteland in the window to my soul

But my simple, susceptible soul is now the safe house where he shelters his dark intentions

Where he stuffs my heart with addiction

And coats it with false affection

My heart now only beating for a moment of much needed escape

Of ecstasy

His ecstasy

I love the ideas I get when he pours me those potions

Feeds me those lies

I can do anything

I can be anything

Yet his lips are locked and loaded with the words I don’t want to hear

The words I must listen to

He tells me I need to stop

I can get better

I don’t have to do this

He’s going to stop providing for me

Providing me with that euphoric elevation

I tell him I need this

I just want to get more

I just want to have his…

His what?

His love?

His love was never my drug

His love was just my hidden getaway

His illegal occupation was the ticket to my polluted paradise