I'm an addict of my

I'm an addict of my own mind, Even though it's hard to comprehend sometimes I seem to get lost in thoughts of all the loss, and what's been left behind I try and tell myself all sorts of lies. I say I'll be find, it's just not my time to shine I hide most the timebehind my own eyes Nobody knows what goes on in my mind I keep that sh*t behind closed blinds. Negative thoughts course around in there all the f@#king time When I was younger that was stuff I couldn't yet define So I tried to hide the light from my own eyes. I pick up a bottle and hid between the fine lines... I was fine Yet I was dying inside, Nobody could understand my kind And I didn't have the time I erased my weekends, And most days that ended with y No adult seemed to balt an eye And it made it easier not to cry I felt denied, No parental gides. I tied to hide, stop asking questions Like who was I or why I didn't seem to question others blind eyes It lead to a dark place in my life... A place only my demons can only survive All I wanted was to die I didn't realize what I was trying so hard to stay alive, Asking questions like is it even worth it to be alive Why I had to live a lie Would that always be my life I cried and cried with nobody ever by my side as younge as twelve all the way to the age fifteen. I was an alcoholic dealing with undiagnosed depression, and anxiety, and wanting to die It was ruining my life Now I'm almost eighteen I'm three years clean No drinks for me Even though I smoke some weed I keep it green I keep it clean In AA since the age of fifteen I'm staying clean! For me.