IM DIFFERENT

Man I just be getting in my bag 

Like how tf I get here 

Where I’m going 

Dad shit really been hard since you left 

I been trynna find peace 

But instead I’m angry 

I hate the world 

Sometimes I don’t feel like living 

Sometimes I just take e pills to feel alive 

I wish I can rewind the time 

I wish I can have a conversation with you 

It’s like you the only one that really got me 

You truly understood me 

Now I’m lost 

Now I’m broken

I don’t wanna be this way 

I don’t wanna be this girl 

I don’t want everybody to hate me 

But shit not everybody got good taste 

You always told me that 

Since you left I been spreading myself thin for love 

Shit so lonely 

Been looking for live in all the wrong places

Used sex too the fill the void 

Man you really had me fuck up 

Left me in this fuck up ass world 

Shit we all through shit 

But you took the easy rout & I would never be ok

Trying act like I’m ok 

When I don’t give Asf bout this shit 

Fuck these people 

Fuck they feelings 

I could have did them dirty

But shit I did right 

I move around 

Peace what’s that 

All I know is dark rooms & nightmares 

I cry myself to sleep holding myself 

Wishing this was a dream 

Everyday gets harder 

Why you had to go pops 

Blood couldn’t make you more of my father 

You never counted me out 

When I didn’t who love me I knew you did 

Dad it’s so hard living with out 

I can’t do this 

Why is this so hard 

I still text you even doe I know you would never see it 

I still read your text messages when I feel at my lowest 

It’s easy to talk bout you 

Because you was my Bestfriend 

You was my rock dad 

I miss you much 

Only you knew how bad your death Fuck me up 

I know I’m suppose to be healing 

But I’m having a ruff time 

& for some time now June 15 makes to years 

N it still feel like I lost you yesterday 

I pray I’m making you proud 

I pray you wait for me on the other side 

Y’all talk bout the color of my skin 

The way I write 

The way I speak 

The way I dress 

Y’all talk bout my past

Y’all throw my rape in my face 

As if I to blame 

If I did this to me 

You wanna know why I can’t trust a soul 

Cus y’all all evil 

Soon as y’all get what y’all want 

Y’all ghost 

Y’all put on shows 

Make a scene 

Say you want this 

Say you want that 

Soon as you get it 

You fumble it 

Man y’all insane 

Calling me crazy 

Like you Anit play with my brain 

Now you wanna be hero 

Acting like you believe in 

Yahh I peep doe 

You just wanna be the world greatest father on the internet

I get it that’s who you 

But don’t used me as a cover up