I'm Falling for You

I’m falling for you. 

And I’d be lying if I said it didn’t scare me.

Some might ask why does it scare me and here’s why…

I spent my whole life giving my heart to people who did not deserve it.

I let people use my kindness to their advantage and didn’t know it until there was nothing left of myself to give and I was no longer useful to them.

My identity was rooted in loving everyone but myself and that came with endless depression, anxiety, constant fear and self hatred.

I vowed to myself to never put myself second, to love every inch of myself that people view as broken.

To set boundaries with people even if it upsets them.

The access to my heart has become very limited but the amount of love I have in it remains the same.

I will still be kind to people even when they hurt me because Jesus remained kind even when they hurt Him.

I will continue to practice patience with people because His patience with me never runs thin.

I will continue to love people because He first loved me.

I’m falling for you.

I’m no longer scared to love but if you can’t reciprocate the love I’m giving, you need to let me know so that I know not to stay in a place where I’m no longer valued. 

My willingness to try over and over until I get it right should matter. Believing me when I show you that I love you should matter. My patience and kindness should matter.

I’m falling for you. But just because I’m falling for you doesn’t mean I’m gonna allow myself to fall again.