Im going to fill the you-shaped hole with booze

It's 12 am and I'm starting to realize that I literally want no one else but you and I only want to touch and draw on your skin and I only want your hands on me and I only want to comb my fingers through your hair and I only want your lips to ever touch mine 
 
It's 1:12 and Now I'm realizing that there's not even a chance anymore that you'll kiss me on Monday. This is all going to be like it's been before, I thought you were different 
 
It's 5:57 am and I just discovered what love is and I feel like a fool because I've said those three words so much and I had no idea what they really meant and it's kind of funny that now that you're gone I feel it more than ever and I don't want to say it to anyone else ever again because it's not true unless it's you
 
It's 6:07 and I'm trying to pretend that in going to be okay but the blood in my veins is cold and hands are searching for you and my mind shows me our first kiss over and over and how to I know if I'm going to be okay when I don't even think all of me knows you're gone
 
It's 6:19 and I just realized you're probably not thinking of me. 
 
It's 6:25 and I'm remembering the first time we talked and you laid down and perfectly fit yourself to me and rested your head on my shoulder and told me wgy you have bad grades and I stroked your hair and laid my head on your head and said It's okay and also the night you held me in your arms and kept pulling me closer even when I was close to on top of you and the more I inhaled your scent the easier it was to breath and when said you loved me as you tightened your grip on my bare skin and I want you back so bad 
 
It's 7:25 and I'm
Numb

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