I'm here

I’m here

I’m here as I wait for you

You’ve never arrived

I age away

Life eroding slowly away

I’m here

Temporal being that I am

Silence has engulfed me

Your absence frightens me

And I’m here

Aching as tears run down my soul

As it oozes through my skin

Will I ever win?

How could I missed your never arrival

And yet I still yearn for the fifteen year old boy’s dream

I want to lick your skin this is my secret sin.

I’m here

Stillness envelopes me with a scary reality

The world I see dying is like the world from deep within

At times I see no way out

Trapped like a helpless animal

In silent death I slip slowly away

Lover, you have not arrived

Lover, the scar remains deep inside

Lover, at night silently I cry

Lover, I am withering, withering away deep inside

Lover, one day I may never love

Lover, your absence is a reminder of what I am beginning not being able to recall

Lover, from dreaming big, now I dream small.

Lover, as I age I lose my mind

Lover, I see you have never arrived

You remain a dream, a vision deep in my mind

Silly thoughts as a fifteen year old still dreaming at fifty three years old.

And Lover I’m here

And yet, you have not arrived.

Visions slipping like water through a basket

Slowly it dies and you have not arrived

And my dream at fifteen slowly slides

Away.

I’m here…