I'm Not Cute

When I was 3

My sister bought me

These super cute red rain boots

My mom must’ve been busy

She sent me and my sister with a 20

And an hour later

We come back

with the boldest fashion statement of any 3 year old ever

Enclosed in an old navy bag

To this day I am not sure why we chose them

It wasn't raining

It wasn't even winter

But the again

I guess that probably meant they were on sale

Still

Biggest mistake of anyone ever

Because I demanded to wear them everyday

No matter how hot it was outside

I wanted to wear my red rain boots

They must've gone really well with the blue leopard print

Flare pants and matching top

This was my “hoochie mama outfit”

My family did not enjoy going out with me in public

Because I had to wear this every time

Some people gave my parents really weird looks like

Why would you make your helpless little daughter wear that

Little did they know

I was not helpless

My parents were

Other people complimented them

She’s so cute

They would say

As they looked down at me

But even then my parents knew That I definitely was not cute

I was the genius behind the whole scheme

I would’ve killed anyone who came near me

With a towel

Because that meant bath time and that meant

Taking off my outfit

I have never been cute

Cute is not a compliment

Cute means easy

Cute means quiet

Cute means passive

And I will not obey like your cute puppy

I was not born to be aesthetically pleasing like the cute theme on your Instagram

I will not take the shape of the box you try to put me in

I am not your cutest outfit

I am bold

so do not mistake my red boots

For a white flag

I will not back down from anything

these red boots

Represent the blood

That was shed

During a civil war with myself

These red boots

are a warning sign

Lights flashing

Wrong way

Do not enter

I am strong

I will not fall head over heels for anything

It’s why I stand so tall

Even in the face of disaster

Walls crumbling all around me

I refuse to be crushed

Backbones more sturdy

Than the Greek columns

I have been carefully carved

Of marble

There is no breaking me

I am all encompassing

From the stars to the sea

Billions of years make up me

I am not easy to love

My blood runs so deep

Yours would boil

As you tried to reach

Me at surface level

I am happy

But do not mistake that for ignorance

No

Being happy is the most courageous

thing/ I /have/ ever/ done/

Laughing at gravity

As it tried to pull me down

It’s inevitable

But that doesn’t mean I will not fight it

By climbing to peaks of mountains

I am playful

But I have the heart of a child

because my mind

was forced to grow up to quickly and my soul finally stopped trying to play catch up

I am not cute

I am the blue leopard print

And the red rain boots

I am both ends of the spectrum

And everything in between

I am the whole damn outfit