I'm not freaking okay!

I'M NOT FREAKING OKAY I went through every abuse starting at a young age, Many times, I felt like I lived in a cage, Needing to get help, I would confide in a friend Of course somehow back to my parents it would end, That's when I kept it all in, and didn't tell a soul, For I just wanted to get my parents approval Recognizing as I got to adulthood, that it was impossible, Eventually I started to look more to the Bible And I started to realize, how my life was a lie, Kept getting friends to want me not be shy Initially it was hard but as I put things together, Noticing hatred build more and more for my father and mother, Getting mixed messages, which drives me crazy Of course if I'm depressed, no one wants to be with me Keeping a smile on is what I have to do And it's all because I want people to love me too Yet if I smile, then everyone thinks I'm fine today... But, don't be fooled because I'm not freaking okay