"I'm not you"

Dear anxiety,

You push me to the edge,

You try-you try to get in my head,

You think- oh you think you can define who I am,

But That was never-never the plan.

You were never supposed to exist in me,

You were never supposed to make me feel this way,

But sometimes you do,

And Sometimes I can’t control you.

All my life you have been here telling me words that are not true

“Oh you won’t make it”, “You can’t do it”, “You just can’t”,

And it was driving me crazy.

Maybe I just need to come to terms with reality,

Everyone else can do anything though- right?

Everyone else is capable of defeating the odds but me,

Everyone else is able to feel normal,

Everyone else has the ability to do so except for me,

To be whoever they want to be.

Can’t you see?

I-I didn't believe in me,

I didn’t feel like myself,

I kept trying to convince myself to see,

That you will always be the only thing people see.

I always felt like an outcast,

Like whenever I was in a crowd of people,

You were by my side whispering in my ear all these lies.

No-no,

It was not until I accepted you,

That I started to accept myself the way that I am.

Today I stand before you

A beautiful, strong and independent young woman,

Who can do anything-anything she puts her mind to,

I will leave you with one note,

About something I should’ve always known,

Because I am not you,

I have defeated you,

I have erased all your lies from my memory,

Because- I am not my anxiety,

I am me and that’s how it’ll always be.

Sincerely wishing you a farewell,

Me